Let us begin this lesson with a prayer.
Almighty and living God, we thank you that you sent your Son to die upon the cross that we might be forgiven and healed. We pray that you give us the determination and courage to continue to pray with and for each other, that we might be delivered from all darkness and walk as children of the Light. All this we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
As you come together, greet one another and spend some time sharing what God is doing in your life. Is God delivering you from the guilt and shame of your past? Have you experienced the love of others in your group as they pray to set you free? Are there still things that burden you, sins that you have yet to confess, past events that still haunt you with bitterness and pain? Please continue to help each other place all this upon the cross by praying as we have learned in the past few lessons.
In these weekly meetings there is not enough time to put into practice everything we have learned in these lessons. Are you praying with and for each other during the week? Are you seeking the victory over sin and sorrow that belongs to you in Christ Jesus?
Are their any needs in your group, whether material or spiritual, that need assistance? Please encourage and help each other, asking God to enable you to bear one another’s burdens.
This is the fifth lesson of this series on forgiveness. Just as Jesus put forgiveness into action by dying for us on the cross, we must put our forgiveness into action as well. Let us read Matthew 5:21-26 and Matthew 18:15-20. First, however, let us say this prayer together.
Lord Jesus, we thank you that by your cross you put us at peace with God and one another. Please give us the courage to be reconciled with those we have wronged, or those who have wronged us. Thank you that you have reconciled us to God and enabled us to forgive and be forgiven. Amen.
In the past two lessons we discussed how we could help each other be forgiven and to forgive others. We understood forgiveness as an attitude of the heart. We forgive as we lose our bitterness, when we give up all desire for revenge, and when we wish only good for those who have done us wrong. Often, however, having this attitude does not occur all at once. Even so, we are called to put our forgiveness into action regardless of how we might feel. To do that, we often need to speak to those who have wronged us, or those we have wronged. Matthew 5:21-26 and Matthew 18:15-20 call us to do that. Let us read these two passages aloud, and if need be, read them a second time. Let us notice the following points.
Matthew 5:21-26
Matthew 18:15-20
1. Both of these passages describe conflicts between “brothers,” that is, followers of Jesus or members of the church (Matthew 18:17).
2. Secondly, Matthew 5:21-26 describes what happens when we are angry with others and say things such as “you fool,” or "raca," which means "imbecile." If we are not reconciled with the person we have offended, and this applies not only to harsh words we may say, but any way we may have offended others, we fall under the judgment of God.
3. Notice that in Matthew 5:21-26, Jesus said we should go to the other person and be reconciled if they have something against us. Certainly we should go to them if we have done wrong, but even more, we are called to go to them if we are innocent and they think we have wronged them.
4. We should do this before we offer our gifts at the altar, which means, before we worship God. We cannot worship God if we have not sought out those we have offended to be reconciled. If we do not go to them for reconciliation, we will be handed over to the Sanhedrin, the highest court of the Jews. By this Jesus means we will be handed over to God, and if judged guilty, thrown into prison which is hell.
5. The second passage, Matthew 18:15-20, considers the case when a brother has done something against you. In that case, we are to go to them and do so privately. This allows enables reconciliation without embarrassing them publicly if they have done wrong.
6. If they will not listen, we should take others with us, and if they still will not recognize their fault, take it to the leadership of the church. If they will not listen this final time, church members should treat them as a pagan or a tax collector, which means we are not to be in spiritual fellowship with them. At the time of Jesus, Jews were not in spiritual fellowship with pagans, and tax collectors were hated by the Jews since they collected taxes for the Romans who ruled the Jewish nation.
This final step, taking problems to the leadership of the church, can sometimes fail. There are leaders who wish to avoid conflict. They will not take the side of truth and confront those who sinned with their sin. They will not be reconcilers. In that case, pray for wisdom. There are times where we recognize that Jesus’ words hold true, “Father, for give them they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). At times we need to accept people as they are and allow time to heal wounds. Prayer and discernment is important in these matters.
Often, when conflicts occur, both parties are in the wrong. When you go to the other person to be reconciled, be prepared to humble yourself and ask forgiveness for what you have done. Pray mightily before you go, seek God’s guidance as to your sin, confess it to the other person and ask for their forgiveness. Speak tenderly of what they have done wrong, see if they will recognize their fault, and forgive them at once.
This teaching requires wisdom. Little hurts and slights can be forgiven daily without having to bring every little matter to the attention of others. Hurts and faults that wound, that endanger relationships, need to be addressed. Sometimes we need to wait a bit until the time is right to seek forgiveness. Ask God to give you wisdom in these matters.
Sometimes when we go to be reconciled with someone, we need to make restitution. This means we put the matter right. For example, suppose you stole from someone. Repay what you took. Or, suppose you slandered someone’s character. Ask that person’s forgiveness, and for those who heard your false words, go to them and confess your error.
How should we treat those who are not our spiritual “brothers,” that is, those who are not followers of Jesus? When Jesus was on the cross, he forgave those who crucified him. Many of them were not his disciples, some were not even of his religion or native to his country. He forgave them all. We are to forgive everyone from the heart. If we have a conflict with someone who is not a Christian, we can still go to them and ask forgiveness if we have wronged them. And if they have wronged us, we can still seek reconciliation. If they do not want to be reconciled, if they will not forgive, we can still associate with them, but we will not be in spiritual fellowship with them because spiritual fellowship belongs to those who follow Jesus and put his teaching into practice. Whatever we do, we can, by the goodness of God, love others as Christ has loved us.
Finally, what can we do if we have wronged or been wronged by someone who is no longer alive. We can still forgive them from the heart. And if they have relatives or loved ones, we can go to them, confess our wrongs, and ask forgiveness. Always we pray, asking God for a tender and forgiving heart.
This is a very important teaching. Please pray about these matters. It is of the utmost importance that the leadership of your small group, and of your church, work to resolve conflicts among church members. This is one of the most important responsibilities of leaders. Some conflicts cannot be resolved overnight. Believers need time to put forgiveness into action. They need to have their hearts softened so they can be tender-hearted as they seek reconciliation. Ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment as you help others resolve their conflicts. Some people need to be confronted for their hardness of heart. Others need gentleness and patience. A good approach is to preach, teach, encourage, and live reconciliation, allowing others to make their way forward as the Lord enables them. Certainly, if there is a conflict that threatens the church, its small groups and families, the leadership needs to address it immediately. Not only the leadership, all Christians are responsible for resolving conflicts, not just in the church, but in families and the communities in which we love. As in all other Christian matters, putting forgiveness into action is a life-long process. Let us go before the Lord, asking him to help us.
Heavenly Father, we have not loved you and others with our whole hearts. Thank you for putting your forgiveness into action by sending your Son to die upon the cross for our sins. Help us to live as he died, putting forgiveness into action. This we pray in the mighty name of Jesus Christ the Lord. Amen.
Our next step is to put forgiveness into action, beginning with your own small group, and from there, to others in the church, our families, and our community. The process of putting forgiveness into action requires wisdom. You will be given some questions to consider. Perhaps some people in your group may need to discuss certain matters privately. Perhaps other things can be discussed by the group as a whole. The leadership needs to help guide the group in making wise decisions as to how to proceed. Here are some questions for individual and group reflection.
Questions for Discussion
1. Do you need to go to anyone to seek their forgiveness and be reconciled?
2. Are there divisions between the members of your small group? If so, please put forgiveness into action.
3. Have you tried to be reconciled with someone and failed? Is there anyone who can help you be reconciled with that person?
4. Are there divisions in you church, your community, and even your nation that need healing? Pray that God heal these divisions. Is there anything your small group can do to work toward that healing?
May the peace of God which passes understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God , and of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. And may the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, remain with you always. Amen.
The Rev. Robert J. Sanders, Ph.D.
